This article is based on the book «Das Bien» by Mr. Andy Figueroa and the course «Love is also learned» that has been developed for 10 years.
POINT 1: Why is it important to know what and distinguish between liking, wanting and love?
Imagine that a desperate person gives you all the money you have with a note on a piece of paper and asks you to rush to buy it, that your life depends on it. After walking away from the person and trying to notice what it says on the paper to buy it, you see the following written: 1,2,3-Trinitroxypropane. You have a problem: you don’t know what language it is written in, you don’t know what it is, and you don’t know where to buy it. Most likely, you are wrong to buy something you know nothing about and consequently the person who commissioned you will lose their life.
Often acting ignoring or knowing things wrongly leads to destruction or suffering; For example, not knowing or knowing wrongly: eating VS feed, being a parent VS being a progenitor, having sex VS making love, friends VS acquaintances, etc.
POINT 2: Like, want and love are learned
Like everything in becoming a man, you learn. What we know constructively or destructively are things learned, consequently a model of liking, wanting and loving is something that we also learn and it is possible to learn in a more convenient way.
It is necessary to know first, bring that knowledge to consciousness (to the present) to do, be and coexist better (DELORS REPORT – UNESCO 1996).
POINT 3: Clarifications and differentiation
There are hundreds of approaches and proposals of conceptions of love, many others of wanting and liking; from literature, philosophy, religion, cultures, science and others. In this article, we believe that these have been incomplete, wrong, misapplied or not well processed. Here we define:
Affection: impression that it does something in something else, causing alteration or change in it (RAE-2009). This means; that if we are in the sun, we sweat; if we drink alcohol, we get dehydrated, drunk, and so on; if a lot of light appears in front of our eyes, we close our eyes; if it is very cold and we are unsheltered, we shiver; among other cases
Like: psychological inclination for something in consequence to the affection that it produces to an organism. This means; that if a person is in front of a glass of water, another glass with fruit juice, another glass with soda and another glass with an alcoholic drink (wine or beer); each of these 4 elements will cause different conditions and the person will have different inclinations to these 4 elements; In other words, you will like one or more of the 4 liquids more, product of the biological affection, the psychological experience, its idiosyncrasy, its cultural context, etc.
If you want to know how we often confuse taste with love or with other things, you can delve deeper HERE
Want: approach or approach to something. Wanting is like asking. That means that if a child says: «Daddy I want a loaf» it is as if he is asking for a loaf, because the child expects his dad to give him a loaf; Similarly, when a father says to his son: «Son, I want you to get passing grades,» it is as if he were asking for passing grades, because the father expects to receive passing grades from his son; or like when a girl says to her partner «My life I want a kiss» it is as if she is asking for a kiss, because the girl expects or wishes to receive a kiss.
Love: Well, our proposal says: «to love is to give something good…» (good according to the person subject to love or recipient of the action of love).
Explanation: If I give blood pressure medicine to a person with very high blood pressure, it may kill him. Quite differently, if I give a medicine to increase blood pressure to a person with low blood pressure, it may save his life. That is why what is good should be considered according to the recipient of the expression of healthy love.
Here are some other examples that are familiar to us:
– When we are sick and our parents stay awake to verify that we improve or that our condition does not worsen.
– When our older brother or a family member notices that we are hungry, he tells us that he is not hungry and gives us all the food, even though he is also hungry.
– When a relative donates part of a liver or kidney to us so that we can stay alive.
If you want to evaluate whether an action you did or an action they did with you is an expression of love, fill out the following test: HERE
With the knowledge of liking, wanting and loving, you will be able to choose wisely and conscientiously and act in a healthier, more profitable and happier way in your life. As you may have noticed, liking, wanting, and loving are complementary, different, and necessary; doing or using alone can trigger a pathology, it is convenient to find a balance between giving and receiving, between choosing what we like and what we don’t; and always seek the good, be it our own or that of others.
SOURCE: Book LO BUENO (Figueroa, 2018)
NOTE: TO GIVE WELFARE FOUNDATION «DAS BIEN» recommends not keeping the information provided in this presentation; We recommend the reader friend to investigate more, review books, magazines, scientific publications, interviews with professionals, experts on the subject and further enrich their knowledge on the subject; and also if it is possible to share it with other people.
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