This article is based on the book “Das Bien” by Dr. Andy Figueroa and the course “Love is also learned” that has been taking place for 10 years.
POINT 1: Why is it important to know what love is?
Imagine that a desperate person gives you all the money he has with a note on a piece of paper and asks you to go quickly to buy it, that his life depends on it. After walking away from the person and trying to notice what he says on the paper to buy it, you see the following written: 1,2,3-Trinitroxypropane. You have a problem: you don’t know what language it is written in, you don’t know what it is, and you don’t know where to buy it. Most likely, you are wrong to buy something you know nothing about and therefore the person who gave you the order will lose their lives.
Often acting ignoring or knowing the wrong things leads to destruction or suffering; for example, not knowing or knowing wrongly: eating VS eating, being a parent VS being a parent, having sex VS making love, friends VS acquaintances, etc.
POINT 2: Love is also learned
Like everything in becoming a man, you learn. What we know constructively or destructively are things learned, therefore a model of “healthy love” can also be learned.
It is necessary to know first, to bring that knowledge to consciousness (to the present) in order to do, be and live better (DELORS REPORT – UNESCO 1996).
POINT 3: A healthy love proposal
There are hundreds of approaches and proposals for conceptions of love from literature, philosophy, religion, cultures, sciences and others. In this article, we believe that these have been incomplete, wrong, poorly applied, or not well processed.
We often confuse love with wanting (asking for something for oneself) or liking (psychological inclination for something) due to ignorance or wrong knowledge. For more details read the following article HERE
Or in our couple dynamics we confuse it with other more useful things, some examples or cases of what is not love read the following article HERE
Now our proposal: “to love is to give something good …” (well, according to the person subject to love).
Explanation: If I give a medicine to raise the pressure to a person who has a problem with very high blood pressure, it may kill them. Quite differently, if I give a blood pressure lowering medicine to someone with low blood pressure, it may save their life. That is why what is good must be considered according to the recipient subject of the expression of healthy love.
Here are some other familiar examples:
– When we are sick and our parents stay awake to verify that our condition improves or does not worsen.
– When our older brother or a family member noticing us hungry tells us that he is not hungry and gives us all the food, even though he is also hungry.
– When a relative donates part of a liver or kidney to us so that we can continue living.
Love is an action, “give”, it is a verb with particular qualities (to give something good, according to the other). It is not feeling, it is not a thought, it is not an emotion, it is not a desire, it is not taste, it is not a choice, it is not giving everything, etc. for more details on what is not love in the following article HERE.
If you want to evaluate if an action you did or an action they did with you is an expression of love, fill out the following test: HERE
ELEMENTS OF LOVE (of the action of love)
– Issuer: the one who loves or performs the action of love.
– Receiver: objective and subject (living being or existence *) of love, expressing what he likes, what he wants and what does him good.
– Action and / or activity: “what is given” intentional action and / or activity, sent or performed by the sender and received by the receiver.
– Situation: psychological, social, physical, and philosophical characteristics that surround the sender and the receiver and that condition the action of loving.
There are also other elements such as code, noise, context, channel, power, among others.
MOMENTS and / 0 COMPONENTS OF THE AMATORY ACT:
Love is a process of has 3 moments and / or components “the Triangle of Love”:
SUBJECTIVE: the sender investigates, finds out, tries to know what is good for the receiver, according to the inner world of the receiver
INTENTION: the sender intentionally “gives something good (according to the receiver)” to the receiver
FEEDBACK: The sender is fed back or checks that the receiver received something good
Like the “Fire Triangle” it is a model that describes the three elements (fuel, oxidizer, activation energy) necessary to generate fire; the “Triangle of Love” is a model that describes the three elements (subjectivating, intentional, feedback) necessary to develop an action of love. For more details on the “Triangle of Love” in the following article HERE.
GRADES AND LEVELS:
Love has degrees (the frequency or number of times with which we receive an action of love) and levels (the complexity that is from the concrete to the abstract, from the ephemeral to the lasting)
– When our parents feed us as children, they have fed us 365 times in a year (it is high grade, because it is very frequent and of a basic level, because what we receive is concrete)
– When our parents sit down to talk about the love they have for us, or about how much we are worth to them before we go to live in another city (it is low grade, because it rarely happens and at a higher level, because it is psychological and spiritual what we receive)
– When a family member donates a kidney or part of their liver to us to keep us alive (it is low grade, because it will only be done once and at a higher level, because it is giving us part of their life)
POINT 4: Beyond love
Love is necessary and fundamental for a healthy and balanced life for a person, for a society and for the world in general; And it is also true that love is not everything, it is also necessary to want, taste, among other things, for the general well-being of everyone in a balanced way. For example, when we are children we require special attention to live and build ourselves as people (we want food, we want heat, we want protection) and this is normal.
SOURCE: Libro LO BUENO (Figueroa, 2018)
The conceptual and theoretical proposal of love are supported academically by the following educational institutions: National University of Tumbes, (Peru), Pontifical Catholic University of America (USA), International and Open University Sebastian Francisco de Miranda, Vice-Rector for Research (Venezuela); World Parliament of Education (Argentina); Centro de Support for Multidisciplinary Research and Education (Bolivia); the Intersectoral Council for Peruvian Education (Peru); also by the following academics, philosophers and researchers on related topics: Dr. Enma Palacios Perez (main professor and researcher at the Universidad Nacional Mayor de San Marcos, Peru); Dr. Elber Morán Coronado (main professor and researcher at the National University of Tumbes, Peru), Dr. Luz Andrea Javier Alva (Professor and researcher at the Cesar Vallejo University, Peru); Dr. José Uyehara Benites (Former Director of the College of Psychologists of Peru); Dr. Manuel Zuñiga Maturana (Former Director of the Ministry of Education, Peru), Dr. Dennis Ancajima Chiroque (Former Director of the College of Teachers of Peru, Piura Region); Dr. Jaime Aliaga Tovar (teacher, research and former Dean of the College of Psychologists of Lima)
NOTE: FUNDACION TO GUIVE WELFARE “DAS BIEN” recommends not keeping the information provided in this presentation; We recommend the reader friend to investigate further, review books, magazines, scientific publications, interviews with professionals, experts on the subject and further enrich their knowledge on the subject; and also if it is possible to share it with other people.